Do One Thing.

Right now, it’s feeling like I’m on the cusp of something new. Sure, I have a lot of fallout to deal with, but for now at least, it’s not looking like I have any new curveballs coming my way.

This is great, of course.

But at the same time, it’s feeling a lot like I’m emerging from a bomb shelter after a nuclear winter has passed.

I mean… where do I even begin?

It’s daunting to face the task of rebuilding something. Of trying to regroup and get back on even footing. Especially when your somewhat traumatized mind keeps whispering that things are going to go back to hell any second now.

Did I ever mention I’m not an optimist? Can you tell?

Seriously, though, I do realize that I have to believe that my five years of famine have come to at least some sort of an end. Which means I should be looking forward again and moving my way in that general direction.

But man. Moving forward is a lot of work. At the moment, the work is physical, emotional, and psychological. Physically, I have a ton of unpacking to do. Emotionally and psychologically, I’m working toward letting go of five years’ worth of crap so I can heal and move on. While dealing with a mind that very much wants to jump into fight-or-flight mode at the smallest opportunity.

Still, the past few days, I’ve… started feeling like my old self. By this I mean the person I was about three years ago where I felt battered, but firmly believed that I’ll still be able to achieve something. I’m hoping that, if this was an action movie, I would be getting up around now to kick life’s ass after it gave me a pummeling.

Time will tell whether this is indeed what’s happening, but in the meantime, I’m sticking to the one thing I’ve learned by necessity.

Do one thing. 

Even if that’s the only thing I manage to do in a day, at least I did that. (Instead of… you know… curling up in a corner and crying the whole time.)

When things were really shit, I did this. It meant I mostly worked and got very little else done. But the result is that I built a new career out of thin air. One that makes me happy and helped things settle down to the extent that now I don’t have to be at panic stations the whole time.

The other interesting thing is that now that things are calming down a bit, I can do one thing much quicker and easier… And then I can do another. And another…

Which means that, after focusing on only doing one thing, I can look back at a day like today and be shocked at how much I actually ended up getting done. It becomes as simple as keeping track of what I’ve done, and actually doing something instead of fussing about it.

Et voila. My semi-inspirational thought for the day.

How are you doing? What are you busy with at the moment?

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IWSG: A Fresh Start

More information here.

After about three months of drama around finding a house, we’re finally moving to a new place. In fact, I’m writing this on Monday because I know that I’ll be about knee deep into packing, loading, and moving things by the time this post comes live.

Maybe I’m overly optimistic, but it’s really feeling like this move will mostly bring to an end five years of chaos that I’ve had to cope with every day. To that end, I’m really excited to get moving, even if the amount of stuff that needs to be dealt with would have other people pulling out their hair.

But at the same time, this new start also involves a ton of processing of another sort. Emotional. If this move is to be the first day of the rest of my life, I have to cut some stuff out and leave it right here in this house.

I’ve been so locked in survival/defense/fight/flight mode that it’s become my go to. The thing is… it’s exhausting. Except for hopeful, my other single-word emotional status is currently drained. So in a lot of ways, I haven’t felt like myself for at least three years… which is also why my fiction-writing productivity took a massive hit.

I’m not a person hoping for a certain set of perfect circumstances, but when negativity and the accompanying anxiety hits often and at random, making you lose any small amount of momentum you might have gained literally the day before… It’s heartbreaking.

So the fact that I managed to get Book 3 of War of Six Crowns to any stage of completion despite this is something for me to be proud of.

But despite this and despite my growing success as a full-time writer… I’m feeling a growing sense of discontent. In a sense this is a good thing. I’m actually calm enough and able to not be at panic stations for long enough to allow me time to miss certain things I had left by the way-side to just allow me to get through.

See, I’ve been cutting back to the bare minimum so that I could keep going while dragging such a huge amount of drama with me. But now I’m very much to offload the drama right here. Which should really leave a lot of space for other things. And right now, that space feels like a void. A void of writing where I took over two years to finish a rewrite and revision because I hadn’t been able to write consecutively for more than two days in a row in over two years. A void of art because I never felt secure enough to actually commit to an art project.

Here’s the thing though, I’ve been so used to… not… fitting everything in that the thought of moving furniture around in my head is pretty daunting. It feels almost like too much of a challenge to work and write and focus on my health and do more art (other than writing) and read more and resume my French practice so I don’t lose it again and be more active on social media and… and… and… 

But the thing is that I just have to find a way. My thinking is to spend maybe the rest of the month evaluating my life and everything I want to do, and then decide how I’m going to start bringing those things in.

Do you also find it daunting to make things fit into your life? How do you approach it?

Update Day: Still Hectic, but Getting Stuff Done.

This is the last Friday of the month, which means it’s time for another GotGoals? Bloghop update post.

Sorry if I’m keeping this a bit short, but like the title says, it’s hectic here at the moment.

At least I can say I got some important stuff done in July: 

1) I finished my own revisions to Book 3.

2) I got my visum.

3) I’m at a level with my French where I think I can call myself conversant again. (How’s that for a crash course of two months?)

Also, I won Camp NaNo with more than a week to spare.

What I want to do in August:

1) Prepare for my upcoming trip to France.

2) Find enough CPs for Book 3.

3) Start working on another manuscript while I rest Book 3/wait for CPs.

4) Clear as much as possible from my contract work to-do list before I leave for France on August 9th.

5) Finish two more bookmarks before I leave.

6) Have a great time in France.

That’s going to be it for me for today! I’m most likely going to be back for IWSG, but if not, I’ll see you guys when I come back on the 20th. How did your July go? What are your plans for August?

Update Day: Gosh I’m Busy

Last Friday of the month means it’s time for another update day. In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, a group of us have set some crazy/very important goals. Then on the last Friday of the month, we post updates on our progress. You’re welcome to join, if you want. All you have to do is click here for more details.

 

 

As you guys might remember from last month, I got a major contract that’s really a massive jump forward for me. This was the first full month I did this, and guys… I just really love it. More than that, though, I’m proving myself to be more and more inexpendable by being able to understand economics, write articles, and read French. That last one seems to be especially handy, since the company I’m writing for is active in Africa, which has large francophone portions. As a result, the source documents I have to use in creating my articles are all French, and it looks like no one in the comms department (which is what I’m contracted to) can read it.

At any rate, this job has proven to be basically the only one I’ve ever done that has my brain firing both hemispheres. So yeah, it’s awesome. Also awesome is that it totally does count as using my writing skills, which means that as of this month, I’m just under halfway to my five-year monthly earnings goal.

Overall, though, I can say that my life is the best it’s been in… about four years. Although there are some major unresolved issues, it just becomes so much easier to cope when you’re making decent money.

But there’s a bit of a storm brewing, namely a massive and growing frustration at the fact that I’m not able to work on my own stuff as much as I want. See, when I was beyond stressed out 90% of the time, a lot of my creativity just… vanished. Now I’m unstressing and it wants to play. Don’t get me wrong, it’s loving the day-job right now. But let’s just say my muse is a bit pissed that I’m not making massive progress on my own books.

For this, though, I can’t blame the job. I’m just super busy all of a sudden. A lot of new opportunities are opening up for my family so, as the only one who’s “accounting literate” (as in able to tell the difference between debits and credits), I have to pitch in a lot and help. On top of this, I’m making a seriously concerted effort to brush up on my French.

One reason for this is the French reports I have to read. The other is that I got sponsored by someone to go to France for ten days in August. (!!!) We’re going to a rural area up north, though, and will be living with people who really aren’t all that good at English, so I’m doing as much as I can to be conversant in French. I’ve kept up my vocab for years by reading French, but because I don’t have a lot of access to French speakers, I’m seriously rusty on the speaking part. You know… just having the ability to spontaneously convert your thoughts into speech that the other guy understands.

This meant that I had to put even more of an effort into immersing myself, so more reading French, more French TV series (thanks, Netflix!) and just practicing on Duolingo. Oh and narrating almost everything I do to myself in French so I can get used to verbalizing thoughts. Most of this takes up a chunk of time, though.

The French trip also meant that I had to renew my passport (because of course it would expire the one time I really don’t have time to renew it), and will mean that I have to get my visum. Sigh.

So all in all, my life is still getting in the way of my writing, but just in a good way. This month, though, I really really want to finish revisions to Book 3. It’s been languishing long enough. I’m just going to make that my goal for July.

What about you guys? How are you doing? Any goals achieved, since we’re at the halfway mark?

Insecure Writer’s Support Group: …….. Already?!

The Insecure Writer’s Support Group is a monthly bloghop where writers can share their doubts, fears and insecurities with each other. It’s a nice way to vent, but also to realize you’re not alone. If you’d like to sign up, click here.

You know, you’d think that starting fresh for the New Year would leave me fresh and renewed and at least a little less insecure than usual, but alas… No.

What’s the problem? Oh, it’s an old one. I have it frequently…

Namely, the sheer staggering amount of items I have on my to-do list. Except this year is worse. Why?

Last year, I kept track of my list with a diary and pens, which meant that I had at most 20 tasks on a given day. But I switched to Trello last year, which is the same thing, except digital, which means I can set myself an unlimited amount of tasks.

And it seems like my life has taken it upon itself to meet that challenge.

On January 1st, I cleaned up all my lists, starting from scratch with only my goals as a starting point.

Then I started adding the little tasks I have to do from day to day. And added… and added.

And in two days, my list of things I need to do today shot up from 0 to 30. Count them. 30 items.

*Cue maniacal laughter*

To be fair, I can shift a lot of them out to other days, but for some reason, I’m just not getting to the ones I deem to be essential, like having to spend at least 20 minutes today on editing my book. I literally can’t figure out where I’m going to squish that in yet.

And this is supposed to be a day off.

Whelp!

How are you doing? Do you also feel like 2018 is starting like an avalanche?

Got Goals? Bloghop Pt 2: My Goals for 2018

This blog post is part of my update for the Got Goals? Bloghop. For those of you who are wondering, a bunch of us have set some crazy or just crazy important goals, and once a month, we post updates on our progress toward those goals. For more information or to join in the fun, click here.

In Part 1, I shared how I did with my 2017 goals, but today, I want to take a look at what I want to achieve in 2018.

I’ve been struggling to wrap my head around goals this year for some reason. Maybe it’s because I feel like I’m hopelessly behind on everything, or maybe it’s because everything feels like it’s up in the air, which makes planning ahead for a year a bit difficult.

But… I do feel like I get more done if I do have a goal frame-work in my life, so I’m going to try.

Okay. So. My goal is to make a living as a writer (which also includes using my writing and publishing knowledge), but for that to work, I need to sort my life out in general. (Again. *Eye roll.*)

So I’m going to go back to categories this year.

Five-Year Goal: Make a Living Off My Writing

Technically I achieved this last year, but I’m going to keep the goal as is, because I’m still far from the number I want to reach. Also, I do want to change the way in which I’m reaching this goal.

So, my goals towards my Five-Year Goal are:

1) Earn $2,500 per month by the end of this year.
2) Change the profile of my earnings so a third of my income comes from publishing and/or selling my own work. 

This brings me to the next break down of my goals:

Writing/Publishing Goals

First, I really need to write more, but I also really need to publish something. I can’t keep skipping publishing years.

1) Write or edit something of my own every day. 
2) Finish and publish Wo6C3.
3) Publish the sequel to Endless and/or
4) Publish my historical romance. 

This brings me to the next heading, since it’s no use to publish without marketing:

Marketing Goals

These are a bit more varied, but somewhat more involved than you’d think.

1) Update my website. Yes, I have a website, for which I pay hosting, but it’s so out of date, like before-I-split-with-my-publisher old, so I never link to it, which I find to be sad. 
2) Create a newsletter. Finally have a big enough readership to justify this. 
3) Update The Vanished Knight, The Heir’s Choice and Endless to reflect everything I’ve learned in the past two years. (Like better formatting, since I’m way more experienced now than I was when I started self-publishing.)
4) Be more active on my social networks. (Which includes figuring a content strategy I can actually stick to.) 
5) Ramp up marketing for Wo6C3 as I prepare to publish it. 

And then I have some more goals regarding my life, since being of sound mind and in good health actually helps me get more done.

Life Goals

1) Be more healthy. Yeah yeah I know this one always gets up there, but this one is always the first goal to go when the wheels fall off, so I need to sort my shit out here. I only have to lose like 66 pounds or something now. Sigh.
2) Read for at least 15 minutes every day.
3) Rest from computer screens from sunrise to sunset on at least one day a week. 
4) Finish the needlepoint tapestry I started like two years ago.
5) Finish the oil painting I definitely started two years ago.

Okay those are the big ones I can think of right now. I’ll probably add and deduct goals as I go, depending on how my year goes, but I feel like I hit all the important things.

What about you? What goals did you set for 2018? Don’t forget to sign up if you want to join the Got Goals? Bloghop. 

Update Day: The End of Year 1

Today is the last Friday of the month, which means it’s time for another update on the Got Goals Bloghop. For those of you unfamiliar with Update Day, a bunch of us set some crazy or just plain important goals and update each other on our progress once a month. If you would like more information or to just see who else is taking part, please click here.

PLEASE NOTE IF YOU ARE ALREADY A PARTICIPANT: The site hosting the linky sign-up is down, so please follow the link above to be taken to a blog post where you can leave your update link.

On 4 September, 2016, I had decided to reset my goals and approach writing as a full-time job, where I use my writing knowledge in various ways in order to make a sustainable income.

When I started out, a lot of people thought I was nuts. Heck. Some days, especially in November, I felt I was nuts.

But here I am.

I made it.

So I thought I’d share my thoughts on my progress.

I’ve been earning minimum wage pretty much consistently this year.

This is both a good and a bad thing. On the good side, the money I earned was enough to keep me and my family going during hard times.

On the bad, I would have liked to earn more by now.

The probable reason why I didn’t? When I had started out, I had planned to use the money I make to market my books to sell more of them, which would have generated extra income aside from the freelancing I now do.

But that money basically went into surviving for a large chunk of the year, and otherwise to keep my freelance side of the business afloat. So about 90% of my income is from freelancing, where I would have liked a more even split between my sources of income. And given that those other sources of income would have been passive, meaning I didn’t need to do much myself to earn the money, I fell short of where I wanted to be.

That said, the fact that I’ve been generating pretty much an even income every month means that I should be able to use my freelance work as a spine as I spend next year preparing to publish more books again.

I finally finished Book 3.

Ah yes. Book 3.

Number 1 reason why I didn’t publish anything this year: My life went to hell in a handbasket starting around February.

Number 2 reason: Book 3 itself. The War of Six Crowns is my major focus, writing-wise, so I’ve basically put all my available time into getting it publishing-ready. The problem is I completely underestimated the sheer size of this project.

A lot of times this year, Book 3 felt like a bottomless, endless pit and, it wasn’t only a case of not being able to finish it on schedule, but also the fact that I literally couldn’t work on anything else all year.

I finished rewriting Book 3 in August, about nine months after I had planned to publish it. Now I’m taking the approach of it’s going to take as long as it’s going to take, because after putting in this amount of work, I’m really not excited to rush it to market without being happy with the quality.

Getting something done is like opening a nesting doll.

Maybe it’s because of the way I look at things, but sometimes it feels like everything is connected to everything else. And sometimes, it can be hard to see what needs to be done first. Do I finish writing a book or do I update my website? Do I update my covers and interior or do I set up the newsletter so I can include the newsletter sign-up? Do I spend the morning freelancing so I can get this job out of the way, or do I spend it writing so I can actually make progress on my own work?

And so on.

And if I do manage to finish one thing, I take another look and see a thousand more. This often makes it feel like I’m not really making a lot of progress, but as I sit here, looking back, I’m awed.

And I know that I laid some groundwork for an astounding Year 2.

How are you doing? Do you have any major goals you’re working on?