IWSG: I’m Back and Boy Am I Feeling the Insecurity

Hey all!

Heads-up to everyone wanting to support Hurricane Harvey victims: There’s a charity auction going on right now here
If you’re planning to self-publish, you can bid on my ebook and paperback formatting offer.

I’ve been away from the Insecure Writers’ Support Group for a while, but yesterday I decided to get right back onto that bandwagon.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with IWSG, it’s the brainchild of Alex Cavanaugh, where us writers can go to share our fears and insecurities once a month, on the first Wednesday. In addition, there is also an optional extra question for those of us who just don’t feel that insecure at the time.

I have a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge insecurity this month, but I stupidly made that my vlog post for Friday.

Lucky me, I also have another, smaller, niggling insecurity that I’ve been trying to ignore. And that big insecurity has just made that feeling much worse.

In short, I feel like nothing’s getting done.

Which is a stupid feeling for me to have, as I literally have a list every day, where I’m checking off task after task that I’ve finished.

But.

There was once a time when I was capable of rough drafting, rewriting and editing a manuscript in six to eight months.

That’s a lovely pace to maintain. And I did it while having a day-job.

But since then, all of my projects just seem to be stuck in mud. Book 3 in The War of Six Crowns has been two years (!!!) in the making and it’s still not done. And now I’m having problems with another project that will be setting me back for some more months on that. (This is my big insecurity.)

That’s not the worst, though.

The worst is that I’ve made the decision to become a full-time writer a year ago. Did that help me speed up?

Nope. Because now that I have more time for writerly things, I somehow also have less time to actually write, because to be a writer who isn’t also a starving writer, I have to do other writing-related jobs for money. This part is surprisingly successful.

But actually writing?

Uhm….

Uhm….

Uhm…..

I haven’t been able to write in more than a month, now. Mainly because of the crippling insecurity around that other book. But also because I conveniently have a million other things to do, which makes it so easy to procrastinate.

Sigh.

Anyone else feel like they’re stuck in mud with their writing? I’d ask how you get over that feeling, but I already know the only thing to do is actually stop moaning and start actually working on something again. 

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15 thoughts on “IWSG: I’m Back and Boy Am I Feeling the Insecurity

  1. I’ve been distracting myself a lot with non-writing stuff too! At least you are getting writing-related work done, even if it isn’t actual writing. And you aren’t starving! Bonus!

    1. Yeah that’s true. Everything that I am getting done needs to be done, so I’m not really in such a bad place, although I am feeling cranky because I’m not writing as much as I want to. 🙂

  2. Well, hopefully all that other work is teaching you things that might help you sort out the issues with your own writing. It’s all worthwhile. But yeah, whatever the situation, we have to carve out time for our own work, so here’s hoping you can achieve that balance.

    1. Yeah as of today, I’m back to making mornings “me” time, so I can actually get some writing done. But then I’m spending my morning replying to blog comments. Hm. :-/

  3. Yes, I totally understand, Misha. I retired from teaching, thinking, among other things, I would have loads of time to write… and guess what? I had no money so I started teaching part-time.

    I think you will have to organise and discipline yourself. So will I.

    1. Yeah it’s definitely a discipline thing. I’m trying to avoid a specific bit of work, so I’m giving myself a million reasons not to do it, but in the end, I just have to face that task if I ever want to get that project done.

      1. Misha, could you tell me which blog you are on the IWSG Sign up page, so that I can look at it?

      2. Hey Rosemary, I signed up the WordPress and the Blogger blog and cross-post between the two because I got complaints from my readers with WordPress blogs that Blogger wouldn’t let them comment. So basically the blogs are identical and you can pick which one you want to go to. This blog’s link says “Five Year Project WordPress” and the blogger version says “Five Year Project Blogger”. They’re currently numbers 218 and 217 respectively.

  4. I guess I can offer the time worn advice–just sit down and do it! I found if I carve out an hour after lunch every day to write, I do it. It’s like having an appointment with myself just like having a dr appt or dental appt. You HAVE to go to that. Hope this helps.
    JQ Rose

  5. I hear you on how writing other things for money can be so time-consuming. I’ve been doing the same thing and think I’m in much the same place right now. Thanks for sharing this!

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