If I’m not back…

If I’m not back by Friday at the latest, I am okay, but my internet service has been cut.

No, when I said my business has been going well this year, it has. I didn’t lie. However, I never quite explained what happened last year, which means that almost no one one the bloggosphere even has a concept of the magnitude disaster that 2014 turned out to be for me and my family.

But I’m tired. So tired, I no longer feel like putting on a smile and saying “we’re bouncing back.”

So here’s the truth.

You know how if a tennis ball falls, it keeps bouncing, but every successive bounce is a bit lower than the previous one?

Starting almost exactly two years ago today, we’ve been screwed out of money. At end 2013, it didn’t bother me, because I believed we’d bounce back in 2014. Heck, in 2014, we were even smart to put all we have into two more businesses in order to decrease the risk. Business 101, no?

It didn’t protect us.

Because we were screwed out of our farm (and all the money we invested on it), we were screwed out of both our other businesses by various people. And today, while sitting here wondering how the hell we could have an excellent year and STILL not bounce back, I did a full estimation of what we’ve lost since September 2013, and it’s not a pretty number.

And every time we tried to make up the loss, someone else would screw us over again and help us a bit deeper into the hole. Maybe this sounds like I’m blaming everyone else but myself. But you’re wrong. I do blame myself for a lot of things, but the business we did was never failed because of what we did, but because of things people we trusted did.

Every time we learned a lesson. Oh yes, we’ve learned plenty. But every new person had a new trick, and every time, we had less of a capability to bounce back.

This year, we turned things around. We started again and started catching up. Heck, we even tied down some contracts (both in supply and demand) that meant that starting this coming season (we export fruit and veg), we’ll be well on the way back to even footing. So much so, that we even have someone who’s willing to join our business in order to get there faster.

But this person will only see us next Wednesday, and at sometime after that (when papers are signed and whatnot), we’ll be able to move forward with the joint business.

In the meantime, all our expenses are due this week. Starting today, with a surprise cut-off notice from our ISP who have decided that we must pay twice this month or else. And our bounce-back capability is officially out.

Our one last shot is borrowing money, but with the economy they way it is, few people have money lying around to lend out. And we can’t ask a bank or other institution, because that will simply take too long.

So yeah. Hopefully, I’ll have good news before the cut-off in five hours. Otherwise, I guess I’ll see you all in a few weeks.

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31 thoughts on “If I’m not back…

  1. I am so sorry you've had to endure all these troubles, but you know what? You have endured. I know it hasn't been pleasant and there have been many times I'm sure you've felt like tossing in the towel. But you still are here, you and your family. I speak from personal experience when I say I believe you on the fault part. My husband's family owned a mom and pop store/gas station for almost twenty years, when we got married. That next year, a huge oil company with a way larger wallet than my in-laws had decided their business was 'prime' and basically did everything they could to run them out of business. And yes, they did. But we survived and actually thrived after that, even though at the time we couldn't see the forest through the trees. All will work out. 🙂

  2. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's so hard when you've trusted people and been good to people, and then only get hurt in return. Good luck for Wednesday, I hope your luck turns around!

  3. I am very sad to read this account of your business which is not doing well. I am not a business man and I never took risks in my life. I had a routine monotonous living and never really made much money working for an orgainisation. I always admire business people because they have the courage to take risks and confidence in themselves to succeed and do well in life. They are ready to work very hard and many sacrifices to succeed.

    You have gained so much experience in the last few years of how not to do business. I am sure this experience will help you to surmount all obstacle you are facing at present.

    My prayers and best wishes and hope to see you soon like a phoenix risen from the ashes.

  4. I can completely sympathise. Sometimes it just feels like, as you're digging your way out, someone else is just shovelling it all back in. But it is admirable that you are still fighting. Don't underestimate how amazing that is. I really hope things turn around for you. Best of luck.

  5. Hang in there, Misha. You've gone through worse in the last few years, and with your fondness for drafting by hand, maybe you'll get some writing done if your internet is turned off for a bit. I'm sure those people that screwed you over will get theirs, too, while you are finding success. Just keep on keepin' on.

  6. Geez. Hope you bounce back, too. I'm in the oil field, so my balls are bouncing just like yours.

    Man, that sounds bad and awesome at the same time.

    I have faith, though. Faith and fear and faith. It's a faith-sandwich. Two slices of faith with a big chunk of fear in the middle.

    Now take a bite. Chew. Swallow. Pray like a mofo and hope God or whoever is listening will throw something your way.

    That's what we're doing. I have about 6-12mos of bounce left before we are busted, so you're not alone.

    It's the American dream.

    – Eric

  7. Hey! Sorry to hear about this. It reminds of some hard times we went through two years ago. Don't worry too much. Just keep doing what you have to do. Hope to read you soon

  8. Sending positive thoughts your way. You've been through so much and learned with each new step. The first time you can keep your feet on the ground for more than two seconds, you'll begin that bounce back. This time it will grow instead of shrink, and you'll be on your way. Have faith.

  9. Egads. Sounds like a rough time. I hope things improve for you. It sounds like you have a plan though, and can apply past experiences to help yourselves along. Stay strong! We'll see you when you return.

  10. Misha, I am so sorry you are having such a horrible time, I truly hope that things get better for you… I am sending out good thoughts for you… Thank you so much for your very kind comment on my blog, it was very much appreciated xox

  11. I'm so sorry. I hope everything keeps getting better. If it helps, I can at least empathize. I went through my own shortfalls with money recently due to medical bills. Tens of thousands of dollars in debt is hard to bounce back from. It'll be ok though. You'll get through it!

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