Writing Relationships

Hi all! Today I welcome Jade to MFB. Jade is one of my newer followers and writes YA. She now lives in New Zealand after pretty much living everywhere else.

Writing Relationships

First, a huge thank you to Misha for letting me grace her blog for the day J

My post for her Friday Guest Post is on: Writing Relationships.

Okay, so we all know you can’t exactly write a story without relationships trickling in there in some way or other, and the best thing about writing is you can write whatever you please. Any story, any character, and spice it up with any relationship you feel like. J With that in mind, I love relationships that don’t have the typical resolution you would expect. For instance: The love hate relationship between a rival sibling. The forbidden wanting for your best friend’s husband ( no that isn’t from personal experience! lol ), or falling in love with a murderer and having your moral obligations conflicting with your heart. (Again, not personal experience!)Each one opens so many avenues to passion, confusion and ultimately an excellent story.

Some points for writing believable relationships are:

1. Give us a conflict. Something that is either heart-wrenching or subtle. A catalyst to why your MC is feeling those things in the first place.

2. Build the emotion of your MC. Racing heart, palms pooling with sweat, confusion fogging their concentration. Just by describing their physical reactions you can build the type of relationship the MC is leaning toward.

3. Have the situation build until a climax is inevitable, and then twist it in a way the reader was not expecting.

4. Give the relationship believable roots. If it’s a love relationship why do they fall in love? What wins the MC over or bring them together so intensely? If it’s a dangerous relationship between kidnapper and kidnappee, have a believable reason WHY they were kidnapped and why the stakes are so high. There’s nothing worse than having great chemistry in your book, but not based on any real reasoning as to why that relationship exists.

Writing relationships between your MC’s is one of the hardest things to get right. You can get the scenery, descriptions and plot down to perfection, but if the chemistry is lacking then it will always fall flat.

I personally find writing about personal experiences is the best way to get solid feeling in a MS. So if I could pass on any advice – that would be it. Use your own feelings and relationships as a trampoline to your MC’s own trials and tribulations. 
Thanks again to Misha for letting me write all over her blog. You’re awesome and I highly encourage everyone to follow her wicked cool blog 🙂

Thank you again for this great post, Jade. If anyone else wants to take part in GPF, please see this post. February is full, but the last four weeks of March (theme: How We Write) are still available.

Have a great weekend! But before you go, please tell me: What is your favorite sort of relationship to read/write?

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24 thoughts on “Writing Relationships

  1. Lovely guest post! I think numbers 3 and 4 are particularly important. I also think, although writing from personal experience is good, it's not necessary to write a believable relationship. Writing an unfamiliar dynamic does involve more thought-work, however, more slipping into the characters' skin and trying it out. It certainly keeps things interesting!

  2. Very interesting post. Very difficult to get the emotions right but yes relationships make a story even where it is not the central plot that much more interesting.

  3. Morning everyone and Misha. 🙂
    Glad my post could help someone. I personally find writing a enemy-hate relationship a lot easier than writing a believable love story. I find I jump to the kissing part too quick! lol, just want to get to the good stuff. Thanks Misha again… let me know when you're around for a guest post. 🙂

  4. Nice to meet you, Jade. Relationships are the spice of storytelling.

    I guess I'll say my least favorite relationship–where characters live happily ever after, after failing to establish that relationship for a lengthy period of time. I think they should just both move on.

  5. You make some great points about relationships and how to write them to draw in your reader. I personally love sibling relationships. The love/hate that tends to be there fascinates me. 🙂

  6. Jade, this is an excellent post with great tips. I thinks personal stakes are key to creating believable and interesting characters.

    I am a new follower. I stopped by to read Jade's post. I love your blog & will be back often.

  7. Very interesting post and good advice. I like reading memoirs about relationships in people's childhoods with their parents, siblings and the world. I'm not sure what this says about me, but I think it is because I want to understand my own childhood. I like reading how a person grew up and why they became who they are.

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