Welcome to Renaissance, where everyone has a secret.
Today we have Molly Parker, the girl who witnessed Ray Drummond’s murder.
Prompts used:
The impending misfortune foreshadowed in Part 1 comes to pass, but one or more characters laugh at it.
Betrayal is in the air.
Relationships unravel.
Word count: 571
If you missed the previous installments:
Troublemaker
“M, then.” She reaches for her legal pad, clicks her pen and pins the Masterson stare on me.
Here we go. Excuse fishing. “They wore masks.”
“Hear them?”
“Yeah, but their voices were muffled.” I lie back into my chair to get comfortable for the legal runaround. “But I know it was them.”
Laine’s brows deepen the one prominent line on her face. “How?”
“Since the Movement started, the jocks tried to get us in line.”
“It’s what we call ourselves. Anyone else would call us punks.”
Her eyes turn back to me. “What do you mean ‘get us in line’?”
“They’d jump us. Harass us. Spread rumors.”
“Did you report it?”
“Why not after?”
“The first few times I tried, I was told we provoke people. So it’s always our fault.”
“My son is the football captain.”
Ah. There it is. I pull the numbness on like a jacket. Now it doesn’t hurt as much to speak. “Well then. I see I’ve wasted your time.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“Oh?”
“The time before this, we fought back. We got them good.” I add an extra spoon of sugar to compensate for the lack of milk. “They got us better. Ray was our source of strength.”
“He told you to fight back?”
“No.”
“The night he was killed, why didn’t he run?”
“He tried to reason with them. To get this madness to stop.”
So I laugh.
Good use of inner dialogue Misha, keeping the bar high I see…
I've not read the other parts but this is really good. I liked how we get to know the character and their motivations.
This is a good entry, Misha. I like the begining a lot.
You make her thoughts a third participant of the conversation fluidly and mesmerizingly. Really, really, really a fantastic entry. If this were a novel, I would buy it, Roland
Total agreement – great shift in voice/tone to a different storytelling technique.
From that reaction, I'd say it's her son's DNA. Well done, Misha.
I love the end!
Smooth writing…great voice. The way you've constructed this story, everybody is a sympathetic character, which = TENSION.
I like how we get to look into M.'s head.
I love the character's inner monologue!
It's interesting that M sees the injustice in the system, that justice will not be served, the futility of it all. Of course, it comes from her own experience with the system.
I guess they found the ring.
Loved the way you opened this. And the dialogue flowed very well. Excellent installment! 🙂
Yes, they found the ring! What will his mom do? Will he be cleared? What is the reason behind all this…so many questions…waiting for next week!
Great dialogue and throws up some plausible answers and more questions. Waiting for the last one.
I like the note on which you ended this episode.
Molly is fantastic character, Misha. I love the voice you used with her. I also love how you make the reader understand that Laine's son's ring was found at the crime scene….without ever saying so.
This just gets more and more intense. I really feel for each of the characters.
inner monologues for the win!Q
REALLY looking forward to week four.
Stuart
co-host #REN3
Tale Spinning
I loved the inner voice, I always love stories that use them but it's not easy to pull it off good – you did it. Great read, great suspense!
I actually thought they identified her as the killer – we'll know next I guess! 🙂
The inner tension is palpable…ouch!
woah!!! this is tense! Can't wait to read the finale!